Following are the points that made some couples live in a separate house
Lack of privacy
In a joint family, privacy could be the biggest causality. A newlywed couple may not get enough space and time to talk, considering the many people around them. People who love their independence may feel claustrophobic living with so many new people.
Personal preferences may take a back seat
You may want to decorate the home as per your taste. You may want new furniture or home appliances, but you may not have the freedom to get what you want or deck the house as you wish. Even a simple thing as wanting something specific to eat could become difficult when you have to consider what the rest of the family members like or don’t like.
Single point of control
The head of the family is usually in charge of everything in a joint family. In such a set-up, you may feel dependent on others and that others are controlling your life. Living in a joint family could be difficult if you are an independent person.
Parenting style issues
Although children learn from the wisdom and knowledge of elders, there could be some interference in your parenting style. Members of the family could interfere with your choice of food for the children. A lot of advice, do’s, and don’ts may come your way. This could make you feel uncomfortable if you prefer to bring up your children in your own way.
Difference of opinion
Clash of ideas or opinions could be quite common when you’re surrounded by different individuals. Every individual has an opinion, and it may be hard to convince everyone in the family to agree with it. If your idea is not valued, you may feel offended. This could lead to conflict and misunderstanding between you and the members of the family.
No preference for individual decisions
Individual decisions have no place in a joint family. You have to heed to the family’s collective decision, which can sometimes mean that you have to sacrifice your personal choices or preferences.
Differences may crop up over the earning potential of family members as one individual may earn more than the other. Consequently, the member who makes less contributes less to the family’s expenses, which could lead to conflict in who has a say in these matters and eventually, lead to differences.
Less modern approach
Joint families are often a mix of individuals with conservative and modern outlook. In a joint family, it is not uncommon to witness a clash between the orthodox opinions of the elderly versus the modern perspective of the younger generation. Often, the older people in the family have the last word, and they hold on to their set approach, giving little chance for the younger members to express their viewpoint. This could be a source of disturbance in the family.
Not everyone feels responsible
A joint family works on the basis of collective or shared responsibility. Unemployed members can put pressure on family expenses. Some members may not be responsible enough to contribute to the family’s larger goals, and the earning family members could feel its pinch. The shifting of the financial burden to one or a few individuals could create some disturbance and conflict in the family.
Might affect the personality
There is little scope for independent thinking as the elders of the family takes a call on everything. As a result, individuals who follow the elders’ diktat may remain mere followers and could never get a chance to unlock their true potential or follow their passion.
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This has led to the growth of nuclear families, with more and more joint families disintegrating due to various factors, including migration for jobs and better living. Due to the need for more independence and addressing their own needs, people tend to move out of joint families while still keeping in touch with them.
The choice of living in a joint family mostly depends on how well you can adjust. This type of family set up works well for individuals who can adapt to any situation and accommodate all kinds of people. If you believe in greater independence and self-sufficiency, then a nuclear family may work well for you.
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